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expecting to be amazed

by sleeps wake

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1.
re-rendering 04:00
l was lost at 22, lost and found at 23 people told me what to do, how to be and not to bleed i was gone at 24, clawing back at 25 dreaming of just being bored, half asleep and half alive remembering, dismembering re rendering days expecting to expecting to expecting to be amazed drifted off at 26, woke in fright at 27 all my money on my kicks, go thru hell to get to heaven facing facts at 28, the abyss at 29 is it too early to deflate, or too late for the decline remembering, dismembering re rendering days expecting to expecting to expecting to be amazed
2.
i bide my time, i stand in line, tip my hat, eat my scraps how many shopping days , until we break the rain, how many masterplans, til shaking hands how many bubbles burst, until were tasting dirt how many dollar sighs, until the light rabbit holes, more own goals, dignified and degraded, craving more bafflement, battlements, opal eyed uncomplaining, saddle sore mountain slides, into the bay taking sides, ill take my time kingdom tides, and then decay taking sides, ill take my time i cool my jets, i earn regrets, crawl the line, in double time how many warning lights, til we give up the fight how many bloodless coups, until we see it through how many satellites, until we lose the night how many patient queues, until we move biblical, umbilical, spiritual and profane, desert shores secrecy, serenity, ignorant unsustained, holy wars mountain slides, into the bay taking sides, ill take my time kingdom tides, and then decay taking sides, ill take my time
3.
assassin 04:19
draw a zero score a nine, if you blink it loses time doesn't count if no one ever sees was a forest now a tree, stripped of every dignity doesn’t count unless somebody bleeds drifting along, drifting along, drifting until the rivers gone did i dream that i was dreaming, finding truth in self deceiving did i fall or was i flying, finding truth in gutter lying expert at getting lost, whisky and dental floss paradise or even hell postponed assassin of wasted nights, shoot the moon and satellites on the phone, and always in the zone drifting along, drifting along, drifting until the rivers gone
4.
everybody’s counting, but no one knows the score body count is mounting, but no-one calls it war digging deepest trenches, to try to see the sun cannot read the sentence, blindfolded, numb it isn’t true, my hold on you it isn’t me, your destiny everybodys praying, for a life time on their knees under bullets spraying, jesus has left the scene dive into frozen rivers, to try to touch the sun the bruises and the shivers, proof that we’ve begun it wasn’t true, your hold on me it wasn’t you, my destiny
5.
evergreen 02:56
throw your feelings at the wall, waiting for the siren call drowning in dusty creek bed, dreaming of a summer squall balance out the calm with madness, stretch a hand up to the sun come around to loving sameness, come around or start to run evergreen, misunderstanding, evergreen for every day evergreen, underhanding, evergreen in every way follow leaders uncomplaining , waiting for the final call mounting arguments unwieldy, shuffle in the shopping mall counting ways to numb the feeling, the kingdoms never gonna come hang your head to stop the reeling, hang your head or start to run evergreen, misunderstanding, evergreen for every day evergreen, underhanding, evergreen in every way
6.
fingers pointed at our backs counting all compassions lack solid values now in dust volunteers because we must watching pixels in the heat will the circle ever meet will the punch become a line ive got you and you’ve got mine i was one too, guilty as you guilty as you, i was one too count the time that got away dream of yachts in summer bay take or leave the share of blame wear the ring give up your name saturday to saturday watch the needle pin the way calendars fly off the wall nothing ventured nothing at all i was one too, guilty as you guilty as you, i was one too
7.
embroidery 03:31
prisoners in circles , wearing down their innocence sentence it hurtles, no time for recompense the door is locked, even when swinging wide still in stocks, under suburban skies can you trust a memory , to gather no embroidery can you wait a century , for someone somewhere to believe patrons in pastels, shopping for a sign of life treadmills and trench coats , playing husband, child and wife the gun is cocked, even when its under key the road is lost, under suburban seas can you trust a memory , to gather no embroidery can you wait a century , for someone somewhere to believe
8.
going good 02:56
we seeded, and breeded the spring was in our soul dont let it go, dont let it go, dont let it go we pounded and sounded, our go without a woe i know you know, i know you know, i know you know everything was easy our mouths both numb and dumb no time for feeling queasy no time to turn and run everything we greeded everything we could more than what we needed when the going was good we wallowed, and swallowed, all the latest news we didnt know, we didnt know, we didnt know we sated and wasted, blurring the golden rules where did it go, where did it go, where did it go everything was easy our mouths both numb and dumb no time for feeling queasy no time to turn and run everything we greeded everything we could more than what we needed when the going was good
9.
cant be lost if you’re amazed cant be drawn if youre erased not unique if youre replaced cant be tried without a case you can’t wrestle with the fact youre on the road, no turning back couldn’t let the night be night burn the world to make it light underworld under your breath heaving secrets in your chest under cover, under arrest nothings more and nothings less when you think youre seeing it is when you’d better be relived when you finally believe that’s the time take your leave find a way to cut you through another hole to fall into another role to learn a line shaking prose and baking rhyme underworld under your breath heaving secrets in your chest under cover, under arrest nothings more and nothings less
10.
the empty strip shops waiting, the highway verge is breaking, the sun relentlessly, calling up new weeds the drive thru pleasure seeking, teenage hormones peaking, the night it tells sweet lies, stars searching for their shine forever now, crawling the sprawl, whenever how, follow the call the battlements, are straight by regulation, the sweetest home, pizza and penetration this dream is real, born in a petrol station, the blood it smells like coffee , spilt on the bitumen forever now, crawling the sprawl, whenever how, follow the call

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released September 22, 2022

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sleeps wake Melbourne, Australia

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